Choices - A Reflection on Seven years of WLS Life

Life is full of choices..... some choices are immediately lovely
to the eye... other choices need to grow on you.
Original photos by Julie Dostal

May is a month of milestones for me. In May of '04, I got my first lap band. In May of '06, I had a revision to a  different lap band. And, in May of '10, I had a revision to a gastric bypass.  Yesterday was my one year anniversary for my gastric bypass.) The last seven  years have been an amazing journey  for me, full of opportunities to grow  and learn about myself... full of  chances to quit or push ahead... full of  successes, joys, victories and moments  to be treasured... and most of all, full of the Grace of God to walk side by side with me through each of those  things.

I am content with my journey, and at peace with the road this has taken me down. One of the greatest lessons I have learned throughout my WLS journey is the lesson of choice. During most of the difficult times that I have had over the last seven years, there was very little that I could do to change my circumstance. I had trouble with my lap band; significant trouble. And, because I am a smart woman and I trust a very smart team, if we were going to "figure it out" so that I could learn how to live peaceably with my lap band, it certainly would have been done. But that wasn't to be. There was just no "figuring it out" for me.


For many years, I fought my circumstances... I railed against them...whined, cried and threw little temper tantrums (at least in my own head). I turned myself inside out and into multiple knots trying to make things different. But, I had a life lesson to learn. When I can't change my circumstance... I have to change me. When the storm around me just can't be calmed... I need to trust that God has His best for me and become calm within the storm. It is truly all about me and my attitude... about the level to which I am willing to change the things I can and then change my attitude about the things that I cannot.


I am an Executive Director... I am USED to making things happen. That's how I do what I do; it is how I function. It is expected that I am smart enough, savvy enough, and have enough vision to look at the big picture, see the problems, and then develop solutions. Yet, even with all of the skills that God has loaned me for my life here on earth, there are things that I am just not able to impact... no matter how hard I try. Learning to face those things with grace and peace has been a hard fought, bloody battle for me. And now... with the help of this journey... I am able to do this on
most occasions.


I have gotten FAR more than a healthier body from this journey. I have a healthier mind, healthier emotions, and a healthier spiritual life. And, it's all about choice. It is an active, conscious choice to do what I can do to impact my circumstance and then be peaceful about the rest. It's not perfect... Believe me... I'm no Gandhi or Mother Theresa... I still have my unattractive moments. But, they are fewer and further between.


There are at least two active choices that I'm currently making about my WLS journey. First, I have a thiamine (B1) deficiency. So, I have to get B1 shots that hurt like the dickens! Second, I have recently developed an issue with seriously low blood sugars, (even outside of my exercise) and am now closely monitoring my food and sugar. Here is my choice... be upset that things are "going wrong" or decide that the B1 and the sugar are simply dietary adjustments that I need to make to maintain a healthy body. For me, thinking of them as dietary adjustments rather than problems is the healthiest way to go. So, that's what I do. I don't have to get all freaked out about a dietary adjustments. Heck, that doesn't even SOUND scary. And... It makes for a more peaceful me.

I don't talk about this much... but for those of you who are curious... at 1 year out from revision, I have lost 75 lbs. I think I was at about 250 just before the revision, and my weight today is 175. My highest ever weight was around 330 (maybe higher... I wouldn't get on a scale). My highest BMI was 52, and it is currently 26. All are miracles. I don't talk about my weight numbers very much because in seeing them as merely a part of a much larger journey, I need to keep them in perspective. But,
because we ARE here to lose weight, it is only fitting to share them occasionally.

I wish you all much learning on your journey. May you come face to face with yourself... and grow as person... emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically. And... may the grace of God be your constant companion through each step of your own personal miracle!